NMA: Newsletter 5 Article 5

I thought it would be easy. I had successfully nursed my two boys for more than a year each. I was a trained breastfeeding counselor. I personally had survived sore nipples, mastitis and many clogged milk ducts. I had even helped a number of other moms through tricky breastfeeding situations. So when my third child was due, I was confident in my ability to have another successful, satisfying breastfeeding experience.

Boy was I wrong. Due to a rare medical condition, my beautiful third son was very slow to gain weight. He sucked normally and effectively but his condition caused him to burn off calories like crazy. He nursed a lot but didn't gain weight like he should. The low point came at about 3 months old when he had gained less than a half-pound in 1 month. I was questioning my ability to feed him well enough. I was sad, frustrated, and overwhelmingly concerned about him.

With the help of a lactation consultant and fellow breastfeeding counselor, we devised a plan to increase my son's daily caloric intake. Knowing that babies will sometimes take milk from a bottle even when they aren't necessarily hungry, I began a system of "over-feeding". After my baby completed a nursing, I would tease him into taking another ounce or so of fortified breast milk from a bottle. After a day or so, he took to it easily. Whew...I was feeling better knowing that he was getting more calories each day.

But Mother Nature isn't always fair. My bright adorable son soon realized that it was easier to get milk from a bottle than the breast. He started decreasing the amount he would take at each nursing in anticipation of his bottle-feeding. The low point came during a weekend when he refused all breastfeeding and fussed and cried for the bottle.

I was a mess all weekend. I did not want a bottle-fed baby. I firmly believed in all the excellent reasons for breastfeeding. Given his health condition, I knew that breast milk was the best nutrition for him. But he needed to be fed. I pumped furiously and fed him breast milk in a bottle. But I was desperate to get him back on the breast.

On Monday morning I called my lactation consultant. In her ever calm manner, she assured me this problem could be fixed. "What you need", she said, "is an SNS". A supplemental nursing system. What was that? A SNS is a container with 2 small tubes connected to it. You fill the container with milk and tape along your breast to the end of your nipple. When the baby sucks at the breast, he can get breast milk from the breast AND the liquid in the container. A SNS is frequently used to help moms overcome a temporary feeding difficulty.

The SNS was just the right device for my son. For his efforts, he was rewarded with breast milk and fortified milk. He was getting more calories for his effort. The SNS succeeded in bringing him back to the breast because he had to work less hard for more result. With just a few sessions with the SNS, my baby happily came back to the breast. Within weeks, he was gaining weight at a good rate. Problem solved, right?

Well, yes. My baby was happy and thriving. He was getting what he needed. So why was I so sad? I was embarrassed by my use of the SNS! I was the mom who had breastfed in any location: the food court at the mall, at church, in front of my father-in-law. Now I was skulking away to the nursery when it was time to use the SNS. I thought I had failed. I didn't feel as though we were exclusively breastfeeding anymore.

My love/hate relationship with my SNS continued for two and half months. I loved it for permitting me a continuing breastfeeding relationship. I loved it for the healthy weight gain it helped my son achieve. I hated it for making me feel 'less' than a breastfeeding mom. I hated those silly tubes coming loose and spraying milk down my front. I hated sitting in a different room when I used it.

The good news is 2 1/2 months was really the blink of an eye in a healthy life. And now as I look at my healthy, beautiful, still-breastfeeding one-year-old, the SNS is only a distant, annoying memory. I am reminded that breastfeeding isn't always esy. But it is always worth it.